


idiot married couple and idiotic christmas story

by sanjitea



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Party, Fluff, Humor, M/M, zosan are married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 13:31:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13008855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanjitea/pseuds/sanjitea
Summary: zoro and sanji just have to fuck up their first night of stay in their new home at christmas eve





	idiot married couple and idiotic christmas story

**Author's Note:**

> prompt by anonymous on tumblr from a writing meme, respectfully with the lines of “No, the house is definitely not haunted, why do you ask?” and “And that’s how I ended up standing naked on the Brooklyn Bridge on Christmas Eve.”

“No, the house is definitely not haunted, why do you ask?”

“No, nothing. Exactly nothing.” Sanji responded casually, shrugging it off. On the back, Zoro could be seen unloading items from the moving truck.

The person then smiled. “I hope you enjoyed your new home, Mr. Roronoa.” They gave the key of the house to Sanji’s hand before walking away.

“Thank you very much.”

The seller walked away thus left the couple.

As Sanji tried to open the door to their new home, Zoro approached with a few bags on his back.

“What was that all about?”

“Nothing, Marimo. Just a bit cautious.”

Zoro raised an eyebrow for that answer.

“Are you sure you are not afraid of some ghosts?” He then asked, followed by a smirk- that instantly sparked a strong reaction from Sanji, just like his intention.

“No! It was definitely not that!” Sanji’s voice was raised- and he was definitely not blushing. The door was then opened. Trying to change the topic, Sanji immediately rushed into focusing on their packing. “Let’s place down our items.”

Zoro looked a little annoyed, but he knew that was just how his husband was. “Whatever you say, curly eyebrows.”

* * *

They were on their bed, snuggling with each other. It was comfortable. To finally have a place that could belong to both of them was satisfying. The couple was happy to finally move in into their new house, just one day before Christmas. The packing was tiring, but everything was worth the effort.

They were tired, but the night was still too early.

Touches and kisses all over the other’s body- exploring and worshipping. Filled with lust and want. It warmed them up, _burning them_.

Softly moaning into the other’s mouth, he felt the other’s hand caressed him ever so gently. Traveling under the fabric of clothes. A body that he never thought would ever be his- that was then belonged; to touch and slowly devouring, enjoying- as he knew that he was enjoying it too.

The two continued doing their activity. Stroking and rubbing, sometimes biting. And another soft moan escaped from his mouth.

He was about to undo the other man’s clothes when suddenly a creaking sound appeared from the ceiling. Sanji immediately shot up, promptly sitting on the bed.

The said man looked to his surroundings, looking terrified.

“What was that noise?”

“Probably nothing.” Looking a bit annoyed from their interrupted moment, Zoro replied. “Let’s get back into it.”

Sanji looked at his spouse, the temptation and tingling sensation was still there- but the fear was crawling right under his skin, wanting to eat him. And no, he definitely didn’t want to admit that he was scared- even though it was useless since Zoro can clearly seen that written on his face.

The creaking came again, and this time Sanji shivered. An unwanted yelp was coming out from his mouth. Several noises came afterwards, and without any further ado- the man decided to pull his blanket and hide underneath it.

Zoro raised his eyebrow.

“Curly?”

“Don’t you dare to say it-!” The blond silenced the greenhead before he could decide to mock him.

“You are that afraid of-”

“Shut up!” This time, with a shout. The blond decided to roll over to his side of bed and avoid the other. Still rolled up in blanket. “I am going to sleep! Good night!”

Zoro pouted. He hasn’t had his share, and they were just entering the good part.

“Come on. I haven’t got to come.” He nudged Sanji childishly.

“Just use your hand.”

Zoro pouted, trying another attempt to get the blond agreed to no avail. The blond only continued to bury himself deeper into the blanket. Defeated, the man decided to walk to the bathroom for a cold shower.

* * *

 

The cold water ran through his body. Naturally, Zoro was never one to prefer this outlet to his _frustrations_. It was just because the stupid Cook decided to be scared by some nonexistent ghost story.

Zoro decided to close his eyes, and began to relieve himself- imagining from where he was left off and slowly touching himself. He let out a grunt.

The image of Sanji’s body appeared before his mind, ever so inviting, and ever so beautiful. And there was him, touching him. Giving the man he has claimed as a husband pleasure as the said returned it.

Moaning softly, he could almost hear Sanji’s voice screaming for pleasure.

There was nobody else in the house except them. The cook could scream all he could. And Zoro thought to himself, he would make the cook cry so loud tonight- loud and sensual into his ears. Calling out his name in his voice, and leave begging for more.

“Sa…San…” He was so close, he was almost there.

The cook in his head was smiling at him, alluring him- with those sneaky smirk of him that suited his face so perfectly. His shining yellow hair in the middle of the night, with those ocean blue eyes of his. And of course, those stupid eyebrows. He could never forget those stupid eyebrows. And he was turning him on.

“San…” He was touching him, and he was making him scream. The Sanji in his mind. Panting, moaning, sighing, and then screaming…

_Screaming._

Sanji was screaming.

* * *

Zoro promptly leaving the bathroom, didn’t bother to grab a towel or anything to cover himself with. Panic, surprise, and confusion was everything he could feel at that moment.

The first thing Zoro realized was: Sanji was not in the room.

There was a few broken wood and debris on the bed. When he looked up, the ceiling was broken.

He could hear the screaming elsewhere in the house along with the sound of footsteps- the stupid idiot was heading outside.

“Sanji?”

* * *

 

Zoro ran outside. Screaming his husband’s name out loud in the middle of the night.

“Sanji?!”

There was no answer. So Zoro ran, and ran. Not a single clue of the blond ero cook to be found. The light of the lamps were helping him to see in the middle of the night, but there was no trace of the Sanji.

“Damn it.” _He must be lost_. _The idiot would never find his way back this way_ , Zoro thought. After all, the road of in that area always changed.

Zoro decided to come back home and wait, perhaps the curly would appear in the morning- except that their new home was gone, and he couldn’t find a way back into it.

Zoro ran across the bridge, and still find none of his husband in there.

The winter chill went into his spines, and that was when he remembered it was the middle of winter. The previous adrenaline has washed off from his body, and he could finally feel the cold. Zoro promptly hugged himself.

There was a few murmurs coming from the people around him, he was confused why would everyone looked at him in such a way.

That was when Zoro realized he had forgotten to put his clothes on. Quickly covering lower part of his body, he ran around on the bridge and neighborhood.

If only his home could be easier to find.

* * *

“And that’s how I ended up standing naked on the Brooklyn Bridge on Christmas Eve.”

“That was… a stupid thing to do.” Usopp commented. “What happened after that?”

“I almost got arrested. Luckily they decided to give me a spare of their jacket instead and called Sanji so I don’t have to look for him anymore.” Zoro replied as he chugged down on his beer.

“It was too embarrassing to even be mentioned…” Sanji said as he placed down the big hotpot he was serving for the entire party members. Luffy was drooling on the sight of it, almost unable to restrain himself from immediately jumping in. Sanji sighed. “I got a call from the police station- and it was truly awkward.”

“What was happening to you?” Usopp asked curiously.

“There was a bunch of **_rats_** falling down from the ceiling into where I was lying upon.” Sanji shivered at the memory of it, feeling disgusted. “I ran outside to kick them out, and immediately go for a bath.” Reciting the rest of the story. “When I was done, apparently the marimo was lost. And I got a call.”

“I was not lost.” Zoro defended himself. “You were. You are always lost and I was looking for you. You ran outside in the middle of the night.”

“I was heading into the backyard!”

Robin was chuckling at the entire narration.

“I am as amazed at this story as I am amazed to the fact that the two of you decided to date and marry around two years ago…” Usopp managed to give a comment in before he took some food from Sanji’s cooking into his plate- not wanting to lose all of it to Luffy’s big stomach.

“Let’s dig in!” Luffy screamed in joy, almost devouring everything in one gulp. Only to be stopped by Sanji’s kick to his face.

“Don’t eat all of it! Leave some to the ladies and the rest, idiot!”

Nami just sighed at their fiasco. It was a normal thing to them. Starting a married life or not, every single one of them were always been the same. Even if a few years have passed.

Chopper was laughing, clearly having fun in the situation. And Brook was playing a Christmas song for all of them in the room. Franky decided to join the liveliness by setting up the speaker.

One by one, they began to smile. It was Christmas, and they were having their fun.

Getting up with a smile, Luffy laughed ever so cheerfully. “Let’s cheer!” He ordered. And everyone collected with a glass on their hand.

They were always collecting together, and celebrate Christmas together. As friends, and family. It was always a great thing to be felt, and none of them would’ve wanted it otherwise.

“Merry Christmas!”


End file.
